The Panko-Fried Scallops

by Lisa Rosen on July 19, 2010

Lee got mad with me a couple of weeks ago.

We were at a birthday dinner, in a nice restaurant.  We were a party of eight, several of whom were children.  It was a little raucous, but a lot of fun.

Lee ordered scallops (and something else that I can’t remember).  When the scallops arrived, they were fried.  He was not happy.  He pouted.  I said something along the lines of “I was wondering why you ordered those.”

He said he didn’t know they’d be fried.

I pointed out that they were listed on the menu as “Panko-fried scallops.”

He wanted to know why I had let him order them, if I knew they were fried.

I wanted to know why he hadn’t noticed the word FRIED when he read the menu.

Things went downhill from there.  He pouted for the rest of the meal.  I think he’s still a little annoyed.

It’s not that I was trying to kill him (he may have accused me of that)–I was just distracted by the group, and the menu, and I assumed he could order for himself.  As a matter of fact, I usually assume that he would prefer to order for himself.

I walk a thin line as a worried spouse.  Before Lee’s heart attack, I would occasionally comment on his food choices, and be met with impatience and leave-me-alone frustration.  I was a nag.

Post-heart-attack, I became the authority.  “Can I eat this?”  “What should I order?”  “What does braised-sauteed-dredged-seared mean?”  Now don’t get me wrong–I like being an authority.  As a matter of fact, I’m willing to speak with authority on a wide range of subjects, about many of which I know absolutely nothing.  But it’s tricky.  Sometimes he doesn’t want advice; he just wants to eat what he wants to eat, and doesn’t want me making him feel bad about it.

I guess it’s just part of the balancing act that is marriage.  No matter how long you’ve been together, or how well you know each other, sometimes one of you is going to step on the other one’s toes.

Balance.  The necessary, but elusive secret of life.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Bobbi Janay July 19, 2010 at 6:32 pm

This was a great post and a reminder to me that we all have our moments.


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